方方面面，事无巨细，知无不言，言无不记。以下为当事人邓京松（Terry）本人意见，英中对照归档。
Every detail recorded, nothing left unsaid. The following is the personal opinion of Jingsong Deng (Terry), archived in bilingual form.
本义：用油去灭火。油一倒上去，火不仅不灭，反而烧得更旺。比喻采取的办法完全错误，不但不能解决问题，反而使问题更加严重。
Literal meaning: Trying to put out a fire by pouring oil on it. The fire does not go out; it burns even more fiercely.
Idiomatic English: “Pouring oil on the fire” or “adding fuel to the flames.” It means using a method that is fundamentally wrong and only makes the problem worse.
本义：从身上挖下一块好肉，去补身上的疮口。肉是好的，疮还在，人反而更虚弱。比喻用有害的方法应付眼前的困难，结果是饮鸩止渴、得不偿失。
Literal meaning: Cutting a piece of healthy flesh from one’s own body to patch a sore. The sore remains, and the person becomes weaker.
Idiomatic English: “Robbing Peter to pay Paul” in a self-destructive sense, or more precisely “cutting off one’s own flesh to patch a wound.” It describes a short-term, harmful fix that ultimately damages the person more.
前妻周利华（Lily）长期药物依赖、抑郁，并存在虐待孩子的行为。药物依赖与吸毒虽不完全等同，但本质都是对药物的病理性依赖。在这种情况下，如果再持续给她现金或汇款，表面上是“帮她”，实际上是在强化她的药物依赖行为——钱到手后更容易去购买药物或维持依赖。这正是典型的“提油救火”：本想灭火，结果火烧得更旺；同时也是“剜肉补疮”：把自己有限的资源挖出来填一个填不满的坑，双方都更受损。
The former spouse, Lihua Zhou (Lily), has long-term drug dependence, depression, and a history of child abuse. Drug dependence is not identical to illegal drug use, but both involve pathological reliance on substances. Continuing to give her cash or remittances under these circumstances does not help; it reinforces the dependency. Money received can more easily be used to obtain drugs or sustain the habit. This is a classic case of “pouring oil on the fire”: the intended remedy makes the problem worse. It is also “cutting one’s own flesh to patch a wound”: sacrificing limited resources to fill a bottomless pit, leaving both parties more damaged.
泰瑞的明确立场：
别说目前没有多余的钱，即使有，也不能再以现金形式直接给她。给钱不是救助，而是在助长依赖、伤害孩子、也伤害付款人自己。正确的方向应当是通过合法、受监督的渠道（如法院指定的抚养费执行机制、专业医疗干预等），而不是私人无条件汇款。继续无条件给钱，就是提油救火、剜肉补疮。
Terry’s clear position:
Even if funds were available, unconditional cash payments should not continue. Giving money in this situation is not assistance; it fuels dependency, harms the child, and harms the payor. Any support should go through lawful, supervised channels (court-ordered enforcement mechanisms, professional medical intervention, etc.), not private unconditional transfers. Continuing to send money unconditionally is precisely “pouring oil on the fire” and “cutting flesh to patch a wound.”
本文为当事人意见归档，已同步至 1112.ohcanai.com 与 lilycase.ohcana.com。
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